I like Foray highlighters, the kind with the liquid ink that you can see in the barrel. The Foray highlighter has a bright, even line that doesn't bleed through the paper too much. It can smear a bit if I'm not careful, but at least it doesn't bleed through. Since I print everything double-sided, that's important.
So the second week of school, as I was merrily reading about Democracy in Latin America and highlighting away (but not too much, of course--it's not like I'm coloring the pages yellow) I noticed that my lines were getting paler. Is it the light? I wondered... But no. After several pages I finally realized that the pen's reservoir was empty. I've run out of ink.
How odd, I thought to myself. I thought that pen was new. I scrounged up an old highlighter (and I mean old--probably five or six years old) and used that for the rest of the evening, although it was nearly dry.
The next day I borrowed a highlighter from work. The ones we have at work are not Foray--they're Hi-Liter brand, and are "SmearSafe". Well, they may not smear, but they definitely bleed. They're also not very bright--sometimes I had trouble telling which lines I had highlighted on a page, and which lines were highlighted on the other side of the sheet and had bled through. How ridiculous is that? The pen was also not very ergonomic, and for some reason I had a hard time telling which way the point of the pen was facing--to make a thin or thick line--unless I looked at it carefully (very annoying when you're reading and highlighting frequently).
So I went and bought a box of 10 Foray highlighters. I've already run another pen dry, and I figure I'm going at a rate of about one pen every week or 10 days. Talk about a lot of ink!
My first test is Saturday. I'll be referencing all those highlighted pages then--wish me luck!
02 October 2008
26 September 2008
Academic Writing
A lot of people ask me if I like my classes. My response is usually a sort of sad pause and then, "Uh...sorta. I'm still deciding." Which of course is an evasion, since we're three weeks into the 10-week quarter. Surly I've made up my mind by now?
My first class is Statistics, which has been easy so far. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, actually. It can't continue to be so easy, can it? The focus of the class is more on the application of statistics, using charts and graphs. We go over the math, but the really it's about learning how to the use a statistics analysis software called SAS. The math part is more about understanding the data than about crunching numbers and memorizing formulas. (Thank goodness!) I like this class because I think it very useful. (Also, the professor is quite good at explaining the math.)
My second class is Group and Organizational Dynamics. The intent of this class is to teach us about the ways that groups interact in the workplace, and talk about these interactions in terms of (management) tools. I have mixed feelings about this class. On one hand I appreciate the intent; but I'm not sure the execution lives up to my expectations of this program. That's all I'll say here, though--you can ask me privately if you want details!
Of the three classes I'm taking, my favorite and also the most irritating class is "The International System." It's irritating in large part because of the IMMENSE amount of reading associated with the course. I told a couple of people that it was about 500 pages a week, but I just added up this week's readings and it only comes out to about 425 pages of dense academic reading, not 500. All of the reading is highly technical, full of citations and references to other academics' writings. It assumes a lot of prior knowledge about the subject, and is made more difficult in that we're assigned sections from larger texts--say chapters 3 and 4 of a book--and so even have full knowledge of the specific text that we're reading. I always feel a little frustrated when I read something like, "As you remember from Chapter 1...."
To make it all more difficult, each author seems to come up with his own
slight variation on terms to describe his particular flavor of the concept. So there are a dozen different words to talk about the same general theories. From one 50 page paper (and let me say these are not all about the same things): constructivist, conventional realist, structural realist, structural materialist, statist, regime theorist, hegemonic regime theorist, neoliberal, idealist....
And so on. And all of the texts assume I already understand all these terms, and have read most of other writers on subject. For a novice, they're completely unapproachable, and are clear demonstrations of why I dislike academic writing.
I need a dictionary of international relations theoretical terminology. Better yet, I need an "International Relations for Dummies" book. Only there isn't one; this class makes me want to write it.
Because the subject is interesting. The theory is interesting. When I can make my way through the jargon and get to the meat, I am fascinated more often than not. If only I had the time to spend on this! Because that's the difficulty of this class--it's so much more work than my other classes (combined) that I'm perpetually behind. (And then, in class today, the professor says that we should "read that article again." Again? I haven't even gotten through everything once, and now you want me to read that incredible dense 70-page article--which took me 4 hours to read last night--again??)
At least it's interesting, though. Right?
My first class is Statistics, which has been easy so far. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, actually. It can't continue to be so easy, can it? The focus of the class is more on the application of statistics, using charts and graphs. We go over the math, but the really it's about learning how to the use a statistics analysis software called SAS. The math part is more about understanding the data than about crunching numbers and memorizing formulas. (Thank goodness!) I like this class because I think it very useful. (Also, the professor is quite good at explaining the math.)
My second class is Group and Organizational Dynamics. The intent of this class is to teach us about the ways that groups interact in the workplace, and talk about these interactions in terms of (management) tools. I have mixed feelings about this class. On one hand I appreciate the intent; but I'm not sure the execution lives up to my expectations of this program. That's all I'll say here, though--you can ask me privately if you want details!
Of the three classes I'm taking, my favorite and also the most irritating class is "The International System." It's irritating in large part because of the IMMENSE amount of reading associated with the course. I told a couple of people that it was about 500 pages a week, but I just added up this week's readings and it only comes out to about 425 pages of dense academic reading, not 500. All of the reading is highly technical, full of citations and references to other academics' writings. It assumes a lot of prior knowledge about the subject, and is made more difficult in that we're assigned sections from larger texts--say chapters 3 and 4 of a book--and so even have full knowledge of the specific text that we're reading. I always feel a little frustrated when I read something like, "As you remember from Chapter 1...."
To make it all more difficult, each author seems to come up with his own
slight variation on terms to describe his particular flavor of the concept. So there are a dozen different words to talk about the same general theories. From one 50 page paper (and let me say these are not all about the same things): constructivist, conventional realist, structural realist, structural materialist, statist, regime theorist, hegemonic regime theorist, neoliberal, idealist....
And so on. And all of the texts assume I already understand all these terms, and have read most of other writers on subject. For a novice, they're completely unapproachable, and are clear demonstrations of why I dislike academic writing.
I need a dictionary of international relations theoretical terminology. Better yet, I need an "International Relations for Dummies" book. Only there isn't one; this class makes me want to write it.
Because the subject is interesting. The theory is interesting. When I can make my way through the jargon and get to the meat, I am fascinated more often than not. If only I had the time to spend on this! Because that's the difficulty of this class--it's so much more work than my other classes (combined) that I'm perpetually behind. (And then, in class today, the professor says that we should "read that article again." Again? I haven't even gotten through everything once, and now you want me to read that incredible dense 70-page article--which took me 4 hours to read last night--again??)
At least it's interesting, though. Right?
13 September 2008
Theme Songs
There's a new song out by James, a British band that hasn't released a new album in quite a while. I downloaded this song last week, and the chorus is permanently stuck in my head. It's there when I wake up, there when I'm lying in bed, trying to let go of my thoughts enough to fall asleep. It's there at random moments during the day:
"Hey Ma, the boy's in body bags, coming home in pieces..."
This week has been really hard.
Strangely, it's all about work. I know I would be feeling the same even if school hadn't started this week. But I've been so incredibly stressed out that I can't sleep, barely eat, and constantly feel sick to my stomach. I'm sure I'm giving myself more gray hairs. Yesterday I had to admit to myself that I might miss my deadline on Monday, which is a terribly hard thing for me to do. I have never missed a deadline before. Or at least, never missed a deadline that would have the impact that missing this one would have. (Note my use of the conditional. I am not resigned. I will work my ass off this weekend in the hopes that I can still make it.)
Part of the problem is that, while I blame myself and think of things I might have done differently a month ago (mainly changing the order in which I've worked on things so that I might have come up against this wall I'm currently facing earlier, thus giving myself more time to scale it), I am also, still, facing this wall. It's like, even if the weekend were a week long, I still wouldn't make my deadline because I just can't get over the wall. And because the project is still so in flux, the people on the side of the wall keep adding more rows of bricks.
I talked to my boss about all of this yesterday afternoon, and he very kindly (and very sympathetically) told me to get over it, stop thinking about should haves, and just do the best I can with what time I have left. After hanging up with him, I called a couple of people I work with for help, and they spent nearly two hours on the phone with me--late on a Friday afternoon--getting the things working that I needed in order to get on with things. They were incredibly generous, and I owe them each a big cake with candles on it. In essence, they gave me a ladder, and now I just need to climb it fast enough to reach the top before Monday. Last night I actually fell asleep pretty easily.
In class Friday morning, before receiving the ladder, I realized that I wasn't thinking about work at all. Class was like a much-needed vacation from stress. Sure, I have lots of reading I'm supposed to do before Tuesday, but I'll worry about that Monday night.
On my playlist on my iPod, I have the body bag song followed immediately by Dobie Gray's great "Drift Away".
"Oh, give me the beat boys and free my soul..."
(God, I hope next week is better than this one.)
"Hey Ma, the boy's in body bags, coming home in pieces..."
This week has been really hard.
Strangely, it's all about work. I know I would be feeling the same even if school hadn't started this week. But I've been so incredibly stressed out that I can't sleep, barely eat, and constantly feel sick to my stomach. I'm sure I'm giving myself more gray hairs. Yesterday I had to admit to myself that I might miss my deadline on Monday, which is a terribly hard thing for me to do. I have never missed a deadline before. Or at least, never missed a deadline that would have the impact that missing this one would have. (Note my use of the conditional. I am not resigned. I will work my ass off this weekend in the hopes that I can still make it.)
Part of the problem is that, while I blame myself and think of things I might have done differently a month ago (mainly changing the order in which I've worked on things so that I might have come up against this wall I'm currently facing earlier, thus giving myself more time to scale it), I am also, still, facing this wall. It's like, even if the weekend were a week long, I still wouldn't make my deadline because I just can't get over the wall. And because the project is still so in flux, the people on the side of the wall keep adding more rows of bricks.
I talked to my boss about all of this yesterday afternoon, and he very kindly (and very sympathetically) told me to get over it, stop thinking about should haves, and just do the best I can with what time I have left. After hanging up with him, I called a couple of people I work with for help, and they spent nearly two hours on the phone with me--late on a Friday afternoon--getting the things working that I needed in order to get on with things. They were incredibly generous, and I owe them each a big cake with candles on it. In essence, they gave me a ladder, and now I just need to climb it fast enough to reach the top before Monday. Last night I actually fell asleep pretty easily.
In class Friday morning, before receiving the ladder, I realized that I wasn't thinking about work at all. Class was like a much-needed vacation from stress. Sure, I have lots of reading I'm supposed to do before Tuesday, but I'll worry about that Monday night.
On my playlist on my iPod, I have the body bag song followed immediately by Dobie Gray's great "Drift Away".
"Oh, give me the beat boys and free my soul..."
(God, I hope next week is better than this one.)
08 September 2008
Buckling Down
"Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face." -Albert Camus
This is going to be a very character building month, full of deadlines and new tasks and unknown experiences. I'm taking statistics. Statistics. I'm still not sure if I think that was a good idea for this first quarter, given my recent history with the quantitative section of the GREs. I signed up for it mainly because it fit neatly into my schedule (and I'll need to take it eventually).
Plus: Less reading, get it out of the way early. Might have a relatively small homework impact.
Minus: It's statistics. Lots of math stuff that I don't remember at all, and will have to relearn.
Plus: I did pretty well when I took economics last year.
Minus: I did not do very well at all when I took the GRE last year.
The first class is tomorrow morning. I've already read the introductory chapter, and I'll be a step ahead because I managed to get the necessary statistics software installed this weekend, when a lot of people missed their appointments (and thus will be stuck installing software during class instead of listening to the lecture).
I wonder... by the end of the month will I have a few more grey hairs? More wrinkles on my forehead and around my eyes? Well, on the upside at least I chose this path! I am the master of my fate! (Or should I say, "master of my face"?)
This is going to be a very character building month, full of deadlines and new tasks and unknown experiences. I'm taking statistics. Statistics. I'm still not sure if I think that was a good idea for this first quarter, given my recent history with the quantitative section of the GREs. I signed up for it mainly because it fit neatly into my schedule (and I'll need to take it eventually).
Plus: Less reading, get it out of the way early. Might have a relatively small homework impact.
Minus: It's statistics. Lots of math stuff that I don't remember at all, and will have to relearn.
Plus: I did pretty well when I took economics last year.
Minus: I did not do very well at all when I took the GRE last year.
The first class is tomorrow morning. I've already read the introductory chapter, and I'll be a step ahead because I managed to get the necessary statistics software installed this weekend, when a lot of people missed their appointments (and thus will be stuck installing software during class instead of listening to the lecture).
I wonder... by the end of the month will I have a few more grey hairs? More wrinkles on my forehead and around my eyes? Well, on the upside at least I chose this path! I am the master of my fate! (Or should I say, "master of my face"?)
04 September 2008
Bubbles of Panic
Trying to fall asleep last night, I am wide-eyed, thinking OH MY GOD! What am I doing? Am I insane? How can I possibly afford this? Can I really pay the tuition costs that aren't covered by the TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS of federal loans I'm taking, or will I need to borrow more money? Is that a good idea? What if I can't handle the work load? What if it's too much with work? Should I think about quitting my job so that I can focus on school? OH MY GOD! I just bought a condo! I can't afford to quit my job. If I needed to, how fast could I even sell my condo? What if I made a big mistake?
And then I think:
It's not too late. I haven't made any irreversible commitments. If I don't register for classes tomorrow, I could just forget this whole crazy grad school idea and just be a technical writer for the rest of my life.
But when I really think about that option, really think about what it means, I find myself calming down. I am, I am making the right decisions. I think...?
I've been feeling these little exploding bubbles of panic periodically all week. Part of it comes from all the intelligent, experienced students that surround me. Their eyes widen slightly when I say I'll be working 40 hours a week and taking 15 credits. Part of it comes from all the talk about the expense of the school--because it's really expensive. "Maximize the credits you take every quarter," they tell us again and again. "The faster you get through it, the more money you save."
(I'm not maximizing my credits. It's more financially sound for me to continue my work as a technical writer as long as I'm in school.)
"Experience really counts. Take advantage of the school and plan early for internships."
(Will I have time to take advantage of the school, with as much as I'm working? Am I being foolish?)
"There's a happy hour nearly every night. KSIS is really social."
(Well, I won't be going to those. Oh no, is that a mistake? Am I going to miss out on too many networking opportunities?)
And then: OH MY GOD! What am I doing? Am I insane? It's not too late to change my mind... Should I rethink this?
Well, I have now passed the threshold: I just registered for classes! I have a DU ID card with my picture on it, a sticker that says I can ride public transit for free, a parking pass, $300 worth of textbooks, and an account balance of $10,755.
I was really lucky, because I got all the classes I wanted. Some miracle won me an early registration time today, which let me sneak into all my first choice classes. (I had panic bubbles about that, too.) I had hoped to arrange all my classes on one day, but I couldn't work that out for this term. Hopefully next term. I'm also lucky in that I have such flexible hours at work. (Unfortunately, one of my classes conflicts with a regularly scheduled meeting. Not sure how that's going to work out.)
Anyway, I am taking Statistics I, Group and Organizational Dynamics, and The International System. Cool!
And then I think:
It's not too late. I haven't made any irreversible commitments. If I don't register for classes tomorrow, I could just forget this whole crazy grad school idea and just be a technical writer for the rest of my life.
But when I really think about that option, really think about what it means, I find myself calming down. I am, I am making the right decisions. I think...?
I've been feeling these little exploding bubbles of panic periodically all week. Part of it comes from all the intelligent, experienced students that surround me. Their eyes widen slightly when I say I'll be working 40 hours a week and taking 15 credits. Part of it comes from all the talk about the expense of the school--because it's really expensive. "Maximize the credits you take every quarter," they tell us again and again. "The faster you get through it, the more money you save."
(I'm not maximizing my credits. It's more financially sound for me to continue my work as a technical writer as long as I'm in school.)
"Experience really counts. Take advantage of the school and plan early for internships."
(Will I have time to take advantage of the school, with as much as I'm working? Am I being foolish?)
"There's a happy hour nearly every night. KSIS is really social."
(Well, I won't be going to those. Oh no, is that a mistake? Am I going to miss out on too many networking opportunities?)
And then: OH MY GOD! What am I doing? Am I insane? It's not too late to change my mind... Should I rethink this?
Well, I have now passed the threshold: I just registered for classes! I have a DU ID card with my picture on it, a sticker that says I can ride public transit for free, a parking pass, $300 worth of textbooks, and an account balance of $10,755.
I was really lucky, because I got all the classes I wanted. Some miracle won me an early registration time today, which let me sneak into all my first choice classes. (I had panic bubbles about that, too.) I had hoped to arrange all my classes on one day, but I couldn't work that out for this term. Hopefully next term. I'm also lucky in that I have such flexible hours at work. (Unfortunately, one of my classes conflicts with a regularly scheduled meeting. Not sure how that's going to work out.)
Anyway, I am taking Statistics I, Group and Organizational Dynamics, and The International System. Cool!
02 September 2008
Fashion Update
So at the last minute I went with the slightly too-big brown skirt, the white shirt, and sandals. Result? I felt a little over-dressed (though some others went my route) and extremely cold, thanks to an unexpectedly chilly morning. During a quick break, I have rushed back to my apartment for a sweater and change to pants. The sandals remain, but only because they're my only choice, other than sneakers. I really need to go shoe shopping!!
More later....
Update to the Update:
While the temperature issue was resolved, I then proceeded to break (irreparably) my only decent pair of warm-weather shoes. I guess tomorrow I'll be in sneakers! At least my toes won't be cold.
01 September 2008
What do you wear to grad school?
The thing most on my mind today:
What should I wear?
That’s right. Orientation starts tomorrow and my primary concern is one of fashion: how much should I dress up? Is business casual adequate, or should I wear something as dressy as I would pick for an interview? What should I do? And honestly, my wardrobe is pretty limited—my nicest clothes are a little autumnal. If I decide I should go dressy on the first day, do I even have an outfit that would work in this warm weather?
What about that black skirt? No, a little too fancy I think. The short one? That’s wool. Hmm. OK. Maybe that nicer brown one? That’s a little too big, and I’m not sure it would work with the white shirt. The green pants? Too casual. The grey ones? Too hot. Argh! What will I do? Too late to go shopping. And let’s not even start on the shoes situation...
Maybe it’s all for the best, that I’m preoccupied with my fashion choices; if I weren’t obsessing over that, I’d have to worry about how hard it’s going to be working and going to school full time. Now, I’ve done this before: I worked 40 hours a week my senior year of undergrad, while taking a full 18 hour credit load. So I know that I am capable of excelling with a busy schedule, and I know myself well enough to recognize that I do my best work when I’m under pressure. It’s just a matter of time management and the ability to compartmentalize—which I’m good at.
(The little voice in the back of my head reminds me that I was working in a bookstore during undergrad, not an especially brain-intensive job, and that grad school is a whole different ball game.)
Up until about a month ago, I thought I was going to be able to ease into my double life. At work I would be mid product cycle, not exactly slow but not especially busy, either. The pressure there would be off, at least. It would be like wading slowly into the pool, one inch at a time.
Then...my deadline moved. Now I’m frantically trying to get my project under control with work, and starting school at the same time. Forget that whole easting into the water plan: I’m diving head first, and hoping the cold kicks my adrenaline into a highly productive gear.
Just to assure everyone: even though I’m nervous, I really, really, really think I’ll be OK. Everyone else seems to think I’m crazy, which is sort of giving me a complex. I’m not sure how many worried, loving looks (or long pauses on the phone) I can handle before I start throwing things (figuratively, of course—I’m not really a thrower). Someone at work on Friday actually said he thought I’d be just fine, that he hadn’t thought graduate school was as hard as it’s hyped up to be, and it was so wonderful and refreshing to have someone express confidence in my ability to manage my two lives, that I could have cried.
And, as someone I was chatting with on my flight back to Colorado this weekend said, “It’s probably good you don’t have any friends in Colorado, because you won’t have any time for a social life!”
Too true, at least for the next couple of months. But if I can make it through October, I can make it through anything. And it’s really exciting to be starting this new adventure! Excitement and adrenaline will get me through the next two months.
What should I wear?
That’s right. Orientation starts tomorrow and my primary concern is one of fashion: how much should I dress up? Is business casual adequate, or should I wear something as dressy as I would pick for an interview? What should I do? And honestly, my wardrobe is pretty limited—my nicest clothes are a little autumnal. If I decide I should go dressy on the first day, do I even have an outfit that would work in this warm weather?
What about that black skirt? No, a little too fancy I think. The short one? That’s wool. Hmm. OK. Maybe that nicer brown one? That’s a little too big, and I’m not sure it would work with the white shirt. The green pants? Too casual. The grey ones? Too hot. Argh! What will I do? Too late to go shopping. And let’s not even start on the shoes situation...
Maybe it’s all for the best, that I’m preoccupied with my fashion choices; if I weren’t obsessing over that, I’d have to worry about how hard it’s going to be working and going to school full time. Now, I’ve done this before: I worked 40 hours a week my senior year of undergrad, while taking a full 18 hour credit load. So I know that I am capable of excelling with a busy schedule, and I know myself well enough to recognize that I do my best work when I’m under pressure. It’s just a matter of time management and the ability to compartmentalize—which I’m good at.
(The little voice in the back of my head reminds me that I was working in a bookstore during undergrad, not an especially brain-intensive job, and that grad school is a whole different ball game.)
Up until about a month ago, I thought I was going to be able to ease into my double life. At work I would be mid product cycle, not exactly slow but not especially busy, either. The pressure there would be off, at least. It would be like wading slowly into the pool, one inch at a time.
Then...my deadline moved. Now I’m frantically trying to get my project under control with work, and starting school at the same time. Forget that whole easting into the water plan: I’m diving head first, and hoping the cold kicks my adrenaline into a highly productive gear.
Just to assure everyone: even though I’m nervous, I really, really, really think I’ll be OK. Everyone else seems to think I’m crazy, which is sort of giving me a complex. I’m not sure how many worried, loving looks (or long pauses on the phone) I can handle before I start throwing things (figuratively, of course—I’m not really a thrower). Someone at work on Friday actually said he thought I’d be just fine, that he hadn’t thought graduate school was as hard as it’s hyped up to be, and it was so wonderful and refreshing to have someone express confidence in my ability to manage my two lives, that I could have cried.
And, as someone I was chatting with on my flight back to Colorado this weekend said, “It’s probably good you don’t have any friends in Colorado, because you won’t have any time for a social life!”
Too true, at least for the next couple of months. But if I can make it through October, I can make it through anything. And it’s really exciting to be starting this new adventure! Excitement and adrenaline will get me through the next two months.
27 August 2008
The New Journey
A friend, whom I will codename Sea Bird (she of the mighty wingspan and graceful flight), has repeatedly asked for it, and so: The Lightyellow Journal is back.
Though my Peace Corps adventure has ended, I am now about to embark on a new journey: Graduate School! While I personally find the idea of going back to school absolutely fascinating, I am not sure why anyone else would want a steady stream of updates regarding my headaches and due dates, but Sea Bird has asked....
(See how much I care?)
I’m back! And I will do my best to publish regular, insightful, humorous updates. With (I’m sure) an occasional rant. Stay tuned....
PS- For the moment I'm leaving all my old posts from Ukraine up. However, because this used to be hosted on my own site, you might notice some broken links in the old posts. Sorry!
Though my Peace Corps adventure has ended, I am now about to embark on a new journey: Graduate School! While I personally find the idea of going back to school absolutely fascinating, I am not sure why anyone else would want a steady stream of updates regarding my headaches and due dates, but Sea Bird has asked....
(See how much I care?)
I’m back! And I will do my best to publish regular, insightful, humorous updates. With (I’m sure) an occasional rant. Stay tuned....
PS- For the moment I'm leaving all my old posts from Ukraine up. However, because this used to be hosted on my own site, you might notice some broken links in the old posts. Sorry!
Would you do it again?
Setting this page up, I find myself reading through random entries from Ukraine, and thinking what a different person I am, now. Way back when, I promised a post reflecting on my experiences in Ukraine. Now, more than a year and a half since my return, I’m finally ready to do that. Strange, but I really do feel like it’s taken this long to get the perspective I needed before I could write this.
Looking back at my earlier writings, I am struck by how (and you’ll probably get a good laugh at this) young and idealistic I was back then. I know, I know...it’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it? Of course I was young and idealistic—isn’t that a prerequisite for anyone going into the Peace Corps?
I certainly didn’t see myself that way, though. I felt old and wise—an oft-cited sign of youth. Still, in some ways I was both old and wise: I had five years of work under my belt, whereas most of the youngsters around me were fresh out of college. But even if I wasn’t expecting to change the world, but I must have been expecting to change something. Otherwise, why would I have been so frustrated by how ineffectual I felt? I also had no concept of what it meant to go into an established school program as a completely untried teacher, purporting to have something to teach not only the children, but the experienced teachers as well. It takes a certain brand of arrogance to do that, and no small amount of skill and confidence to do it well. I had none of those things, and so I struggled. In retrospect, I do think I was naïve.
All that said, it is very easy for all of us to discount what Volunteers, myself included, do offer: a new perspective, a taste of a foreign culture, and a suitcase full of enthusiasm. They tell us from the start that our experience as a volunteer is not about our “job” so much it is about being an American in an isolated community. The Peace Corps has three goals, and two of them focus on cultural exchange. (The first goal, to provide “trained men and women”, is I think the least successful and most damaging to the program. But that’s a much longer post than I want to write today.)
One question I get a lot is, “Would you do it again?” My answer is generally a qualified yes. I am unquestionably glad I went; had I not, I would always have regretted it, and I doubt I would have done it later in life. For me, it was a “now or never” situation. The experience also put my life on a different track. Without Peace Corps, I would not have contemplated a career switch, and I would not have gone to graduate school. The whole experience has reoriented me in a positive way, and I couldn’t be happier. BUT...if I were to offer any advice to others, I would suggest getting a start in a field that interests you and then applying your preexisting experience in the Peace Corps, rather than using Peace Corps as a springboard to an unknown career. If you’re certain you want to go right after college, then check out the Masters International program. The best way to get (and give) the most out of your Peace Corps experience is to make sure your assignment has relevance to your life and goals, and to make sure you have experience beyond what little training the Peace Corps offers. Take control!
After returning to the US, I floated for a while, unsure of what I would do next. I lived with my grandmother for a year. I took a couple of economics classes, and pondered my future. I did not apply to graduate school: I found that getting applications ready was just too much to expect of myself so quickly after my return, and so I decided to wait a year. Instead, I contacted my old, pre-PC employer and began contracting again as a technical writer. In this, my prior work experience was a great asset. In no time at all I was back at work, almost as though I had never left. I began to slip back into my old life. It was almost spooky how easy it was.
Did I really want to go back to school? Acquire all that debt? Switch to a career where I might actually make less than I made already? I wasn’t sure any more. It wasn’t until December, when I’d been back a year, that I decided I would go for it.
And so here I am. I moved to Denver, and next week I’ll be attending an orientation program at the University of Denver, where I will be studying for a Masters in International Administration. It’s thrilling, exciting, scary, and I can’t wait.
What else has changed? Well, I’m starting to feel like I look my age (all of 30), rather than seeming younger. I usually wear makeup to work. I think about fashion much more than I used to, and am marginally more stylish. Perhaps most significantly, I feel more in control of my life, and am more confident in my decisions. In short, I guess I’m all grown up, and not just playing dress-up.
How’s that for summary on my Peace Corps experience?
Looking back at my earlier writings, I am struck by how (and you’ll probably get a good laugh at this) young and idealistic I was back then. I know, I know...it’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it? Of course I was young and idealistic—isn’t that a prerequisite for anyone going into the Peace Corps?
I certainly didn’t see myself that way, though. I felt old and wise—an oft-cited sign of youth. Still, in some ways I was both old and wise: I had five years of work under my belt, whereas most of the youngsters around me were fresh out of college. But even if I wasn’t expecting to change the world, but I must have been expecting to change something. Otherwise, why would I have been so frustrated by how ineffectual I felt? I also had no concept of what it meant to go into an established school program as a completely untried teacher, purporting to have something to teach not only the children, but the experienced teachers as well. It takes a certain brand of arrogance to do that, and no small amount of skill and confidence to do it well. I had none of those things, and so I struggled. In retrospect, I do think I was naïve.
All that said, it is very easy for all of us to discount what Volunteers, myself included, do offer: a new perspective, a taste of a foreign culture, and a suitcase full of enthusiasm. They tell us from the start that our experience as a volunteer is not about our “job” so much it is about being an American in an isolated community. The Peace Corps has three goals, and two of them focus on cultural exchange. (The first goal, to provide “trained men and women”, is I think the least successful and most damaging to the program. But that’s a much longer post than I want to write today.)
One question I get a lot is, “Would you do it again?” My answer is generally a qualified yes. I am unquestionably glad I went; had I not, I would always have regretted it, and I doubt I would have done it later in life. For me, it was a “now or never” situation. The experience also put my life on a different track. Without Peace Corps, I would not have contemplated a career switch, and I would not have gone to graduate school. The whole experience has reoriented me in a positive way, and I couldn’t be happier. BUT...if I were to offer any advice to others, I would suggest getting a start in a field that interests you and then applying your preexisting experience in the Peace Corps, rather than using Peace Corps as a springboard to an unknown career. If you’re certain you want to go right after college, then check out the Masters International program. The best way to get (and give) the most out of your Peace Corps experience is to make sure your assignment has relevance to your life and goals, and to make sure you have experience beyond what little training the Peace Corps offers. Take control!
After returning to the US, I floated for a while, unsure of what I would do next. I lived with my grandmother for a year. I took a couple of economics classes, and pondered my future. I did not apply to graduate school: I found that getting applications ready was just too much to expect of myself so quickly after my return, and so I decided to wait a year. Instead, I contacted my old, pre-PC employer and began contracting again as a technical writer. In this, my prior work experience was a great asset. In no time at all I was back at work, almost as though I had never left. I began to slip back into my old life. It was almost spooky how easy it was.
Did I really want to go back to school? Acquire all that debt? Switch to a career where I might actually make less than I made already? I wasn’t sure any more. It wasn’t until December, when I’d been back a year, that I decided I would go for it.
And so here I am. I moved to Denver, and next week I’ll be attending an orientation program at the University of Denver, where I will be studying for a Masters in International Administration. It’s thrilling, exciting, scary, and I can’t wait.
What else has changed? Well, I’m starting to feel like I look my age (all of 30), rather than seeming younger. I usually wear makeup to work. I think about fashion much more than I used to, and am marginally more stylish. Perhaps most significantly, I feel more in control of my life, and am more confident in my decisions. In short, I guess I’m all grown up, and not just playing dress-up.
How’s that for summary on my Peace Corps experience?
