Would you do it again?

Setting this page up, I find myself reading through random entries from Ukraine, and thinking what a different person I am, now. Way back when, I promised a post reflecting on my experiences in Ukraine. Now, more than a year and a half since my return, I’m finally ready to do that. Strange, but I really do feel like it’s taken this long to get the perspective I needed before I could write this.

Looking back at my earlier writings, I am struck by how (and you’ll probably get a good laugh at this) young and idealistic I was back then. I know, I know...it’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it? Of course I was young and idealistic—isn’t that a prerequisite for anyone going into the Peace Corps?

I certainly didn’t see myself that way, though. I felt old and wise—an oft-cited sign of youth. Still, in some ways I was both old and wise: I had five years of work under my belt, whereas most of the youngsters around me were fresh out of college. But even if I wasn’t expecting to change the world, but I must have been expecting to change something. Otherwise, why would I have been so frustrated by how ineffectual I felt? I also had no concept of what it meant to go into an established school program as a completely untried teacher, purporting to have something to teach not only the children, but the experienced teachers as well. It takes a certain brand of arrogance to do that, and no small amount of skill and confidence to do it well. I had none of those things, and so I struggled. In retrospect, I do think I was naïve.

All that said, it is very easy for all of us to discount what Volunteers, myself included, do offer: a new perspective, a taste of a foreign culture, and a suitcase full of enthusiasm. They tell us from the start that our experience as a volunteer is not about our “job” so much it is about being an American in an isolated community. The Peace Corps has three goals, and two of them focus on cultural exchange. (The first goal, to provide “trained men and women”, is I think the least successful and most damaging to the program. But that’s a much longer post than I want to write today.)

One question I get a lot is, “Would you do it again?” My answer is generally a qualified yes. I am unquestionably glad I went; had I not, I would always have regretted it, and I doubt I would have done it later in life. For me, it was a “now or never” situation. The experience also put my life on a different track. Without Peace Corps, I would not have contemplated a career switch, and I would not have gone to graduate school. The whole experience has reoriented me in a positive way, and I couldn’t be happier. BUT...if I were to offer any advice to others, I would suggest getting a start in a field that interests you and then applying your preexisting experience in the Peace Corps, rather than using Peace Corps as a springboard to an unknown career. If you’re certain you want to go right after college, then check out the Masters International program. The best way to get (and give) the most out of your Peace Corps experience is to make sure your assignment has relevance to your life and goals, and to make sure you have experience beyond what little training the Peace Corps offers. Take control!

After returning to the US, I floated for a while, unsure of what I would do next. I lived with my grandmother for a year. I took a couple of economics classes, and pondered my future. I did not apply to graduate school: I found that getting applications ready was just too much to expect of myself so quickly after my return, and so I decided to wait a year. Instead, I contacted my old, pre-PC employer and began contracting again as a technical writer. In this, my prior work experience was a great asset. In no time at all I was back at work, almost as though I had never left. I began to slip back into my old life. It was almost spooky how easy it was.

Did I really want to go back to school? Acquire all that debt? Switch to a career where I might actually make less than I made already? I wasn’t sure any more. It wasn’t until December, when I’d been back a year, that I decided I would go for it.

And so here I am. I moved to Denver, and next week I’ll be attending an orientation program at the University of Denver, where I will be studying for a Masters in International Administration. It’s thrilling, exciting, scary, and I can’t wait.

What else has changed? Well, I’m starting to feel like I look my age (all of 30), rather than seeming younger. I usually wear makeup to work. I think about fashion much more than I used to, and am marginally more stylish. Perhaps most significantly, I feel more in control of my life, and am more confident in my decisions. In short, I guess I’m all grown up, and not just playing dress-up.

How’s that for summary on my Peace Corps experience?