want want want

I so want a new computer. Today I had made up my mind that I would--I would!--buy one. I would have my parents buy it for me, install the software I want, and send it to me through Meest, which is a reliable shipping method.

I made a list of what I want on my new computer (iTunes, an encyclopedia, a CD burner, image editing software, good sound, lots of harddrive space). I have some stock I can sell to pay for it. Why not, after all?

And then on my way to school I talked myself out of it. What exactly would I do with a new computer that I can't do with my old one? Internal dialog ensued:

You don't really need a computer.
Yes I do!
Really? Well what will you use it for?
I would watch movies.
You can watch movies on your old computer.
I can watch them, but I can't hear them.
Use headphones.
But I can't watch movies with anyone else. I can't use the movies I brought as teaching materials. (You know everyone would love Conjunction Junction!)
You're already embarrassed by all the stuff you have. Would you really want to go showing around a new computer?
Um. Maybe.
Mmm hmm.
Well, I could have more music!
You hardly ever listen to music.
That's because I can't hear it! Without headphones, anyway. Besides, I could have more music, and burn CDs to use as teaching materials.
Useful, yes. But not a good enough reason to buy a new computer.
I could play with pictures!
You don't have a digital camera.
I could buy one!
Jeez, Carrie, one excessive purchase at a time!
Ok, but I have pictures that other people took with their digital cameras. I could play with those.
You're not going to buy a new computer just so you can play with pictures.
*pout* I have the money. Why not spend it?
No, you don't. You can get the money. It's not the same thing.
Well, I already have problems with my old computer. I'm going to need a new computer eventually. Why not buy it now?
Because it might get stolen. Because you already have one. Because you don't really need it yet, and someday you might need the money more.
But I really want one!

On my way home from school I began to talk myself back into it, and then back out again. And then I got home and called another volunteer in Crimea. She HAS a nice computer, with a CD burner and iTunes. I was hoping she had a copy of "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt n Peppa (or however it's spelled), which I really want to play for my debate team. (Their topic is "teenagers have the right to have sex," and this song would be a perfect teaching aid/discussion-starter.)

She didn't have the song, but she gave me some advice about the computer. "You should buy it. These are resources that can really help our teaching. We can be good teachers without them--but why not be great teachers?"

Having someone else justify the expense is nice, but I'm still fighting with myself. (I suppose that, of all the problems I could be having, wanting a new computer is pretty minor, huh?)