The post that doesn't want to post

I should tell you I'm suffering from the second bout of culture shock, which hits most of us when we arrive "at site," meaning the towns where we'll be living for the next two years. I'm certainly not immune. It's hard to suddenly be alone, adrift... I have no native English speakers around me, and not many people who speak English even as a second language. So there's no one I can really communicate with, and no one who I can depend on to translate for me. In the end this will make my Russian better, but for now I'm lonely and frustrated.

For me, this is much more difficult than coming to Ukraine in the first place was. I was just adjusting to my first home here (and the constant business), feeling comfortable with my family in Berezan and like I could finally talk to them. Now I'm in an unfamiliar place, far from the close friends I made during training, and feeling like I can't communicate at all with my new host family.

It's frustrating, challenging, draining, and I completely understand why so many people end up leaving after this transition.

Not that I'm going to leave. I'm just....ready for school to start, so I have something to do. (The spring term starts January 11th.) And I make lists in my head of all the things I'll do differently when I have my own apartment. (I'll wash all my dishes with soap. If I make soup with chicken, I'll take the chicken off the bones. I'll walk around the house without slippers whenever I want to. Maybe even without socks.)

All of which is just to say things are moving along. All is well. And I'll probably sound a bit more cheerful next time you hear from me. For now...

Last week someone pinched me to see if I was real. She was a teacher at the school where I'll be teaching English, one of the older teachers who I think has been there for a long time. I went to the New Years party at the school, and she asked me, "You're from America?" (In Russian of course.) And I said Yes, I'm from America. And then she pinched me, just to make sure.

I had heard that this might happen sometimes, but I thought it was a joke, or an exaggeration. Besides, this is a "resort town" that presumably gets a lot of tourists from all over, and Crimea itself has much more diversity than the rest of Ukraine. To be sure, the teacher was laughing when she squeezed me, but all the same.... I am unexpected, like a gift to the school just in time for the New Year.

In Ukraine, New Years is the biggest holiday of the year. It's a family holiday, when Santa (or Grandfather Frost) comes and gifts are exchanged and everyone is with their families. Christmas, which comes on January 6th in the Orthodox church, is not so celebrated. I'm told that this is because under the Soviet Union religious holidays were banned. People began celebrating New Years because it is secular, and could be celebrated openly.

So I arrived in Ukraine just in time for the biggest holiday of the year, Thanksgiving and Christmas combined. I spent a good part of the 31st cooking with my new host mother. In the late evening we took a nap, and then got up at 12:00 to celebrate and eat the big dinner we'd cooked. There were several different kinds of salad, a goose, and fried potatoes. (Probably more, but I've forgotten.) We also exchanged gifts. This was just the immediate family: host mom, son, and daughter. (The son is a university student who is visiting for the holiday.)

On New Years Day we had lunch with the extended family, and there was just as much food then as there had been the day before. I met most of the family, I think. At least the mother's side. Dad is out of the picture, so I'm not sure if I'll meet anyone from that side of the family.

The next day, January 2, I went to a "concert" in Simferopol, which is a good 2 hour bus ride away (if you're making really good time, which we did). The concert was for the children of the people who work in the town administration, if I understood correctly. The buss was full of children, and the concert--actually a play--was very much for the kids. (I found myself thinking that it was rather long, and no one in America would expect kids to sit still for so long. But these kids were fine. I wonder what that says about us as Americans?) That's how I found myself watching a Russian musical production of the Wizard of Oz.

Of course, I didn't figure out it was the wizard of Oz until Dorothy (not named Dorothy) and Toto (not called Toto) had been given the ruby slippers (not ruby) and were following the Yellow Brick road. It was a pretty good production, and I understood what was going on, for the most part. Of course, I'm sure it helped that I knew the story!

Afterwards we went to McDonalds, which was a big treat for the kids. (Although one of them had a meltdown because his mom wouldn't buy the happy meal.) I've already discovered that I now love McDonalds. I never thought that could happen. I mean, I knew I loved their fries, but I never thought I'd think their Double Cheeseburger Menu (spelled phonetically in Russian) would taste like a little bit of heaven. I think the processing and preservatives remind me of home.

Pretty much all of us feel like that. Every time we went into Kyiv during training, McDonalds was a prime destination. One of my friends went 3 times in a 24 hour period. I never hit that high, but I did manage to visit twice in 2 hours. (On the second visit I limited myself to an icecream cone.)

After McDonalds, on the bus ride back from Simferopol, I made a list of the things I've learned in Ukraine:

1. McDonalds is amazing.
2. New Years is a family holiday.
3. Yes, there really are women who are that skinny.
4. It's possible to lose weight even while eating a diet entirely composed of starches and fats.
5. I never want to own another car.
6. Tight pants are in.
7. Fur is cool. PETA doesn't come from Eastern Europe.
8. Never throw away a plastic bag. These things aren't free, you know!
9. All the modern conveniences include: electricity, gas heating, hot water, a refridgerator, an electric tea kettle, and an indoor bathroom. (Washing machine is optional.)

I guess that's it for today. Please note my new address. I also updated the FAQ.