When things start happening

So yeah. I'm two quarters into an expensive grad school program and thinking about dropping out and entering an entirely new program (and no: nothing would transfer). There's good news and bad news.

The good news: I finally know what I want to be when I grow up! I've been struggling ever since I started school, in part because I'm much more practical than most of the people at DU. I've been working for 10 years. I make a good salary. I'm respected. I have a career, one I trained for and earned, and it's been hard to stomach the idea that I would be not just taking several steps back, but taking a 50% pay cut (if I was lucky) at the same time. I mean, why am I spending $60K for a MA if I'm going to graduate and make $40K a year? Not that it's all about money to me, but it's a little about money.

So anyway, I kind of came to the conclusion that I want to stay in the corporate world. Not just because it pays more, but also because I have so much experience here, and I'm good at it. I thought about doing more "corporate social responsibility" work, and that's when I decided that a business degree would be a good idea and applied for that program. That upped my degree cost to closer to $90K, tacked on about another year of classes, and didn’t promise any immediate increase in my income (it’s very hard to get into corporate responsibility work, because most companies hire from within).

Then, last quarter I took a career development class (it's a free class they offer students), and they talk a lot in that class about values and skills and interests, helping to focus you. At the same time, I started reading that new Thomas Friedman book (Hot, Flat and Crowded--great read) and it got me to thinking about how I've always been interested in the issues of renewable energy, and how that also falls into the important "sustainability" category that is what attracts me to international development work in the first place. So I started looking at job descriptions in the energy sector. I found my dream job, found the GEM program, and then things really started happening.

You know the idea that, once you start looking in the right direction, things will just start happening for you? Well, things are certainly happening. I talked to my aunt, who worked in power when I was a kid and is now working for another power company, and she's been connecting me to some of her old colleagues, who have largely attained pretty high and mighty positions by now. One of them offered me a free pass to a conference on renewable energy this week, and a plane ticket so I could get there. And so I went, talked to a lot of people, and became even more interested in renewable energy. I think this is really a good fit for me.

The bad news is that the GEM program is probably a better entry into the field, and of course nothing that I've taken at DU transfers. I would have to start all over, although the program is actually cheaper, and I'd end up owing less at the end of it than I will if I continue at DU. I would also finish my degree at the same time (or earlier) than I would finish the DU program.

So here I am, considering starting over—again. I may be crazy, but it feels right.